I’m not sure what parts of my personality and self esteem were influenced by which of my life’s events. This life experience I am about to write about, may have a lot to do with my “charming personality”, “different mindset” and very strong self confidence.
A little background is needed so I will write a few words about myself. Some people would call themselves an “out of the box” person. I feel I never fitted any box people created in the first place. Most things others do because they are needed like higher education, marriage, children, a steady job that pays well, just made me ask why. I did not find reason for them and stopped doing them at some point of my life. Some of them, I never got myself into to begin with. I see no reason to god or country and never quite understood what purpose they serve. I step forward confidently and rarely regret the past. As most people try to be as friendly as they can, I am always better with being alone. I am an odd bird and I am the last person to deny it.
When I was 3 years old, I got Asthma.
My earliest memories from my childhood are those of my father holding me on his shoulder trying to calm me down because of my suffocation. There is nothing as scary as a 3 years old child struggling to breath. These were, most definitely, the worst days of my life. Thinking about those episodes all these years after, makes me ask if some of my difficult personality which makes me the stubborn, self centered, unfriendly person I am today was not forged by the struggle of a 3 years old child to breath cause after dealing for so many years with episodes of suffocation, everything else seems so small and insignificant and socializing seems like a waste of my alone time.
